This is an article from my column, “That Mompreneur Life”, in Nashim Magazine — an innovative, Jewish women’s magazine.
In the big game of Life, we all have different values — aspects of our lives that rank higher than others. Top of my list? 1) Family, 2) Judaism, 3) Loyalty, 4) My Job, 5) How pretty I am (just kiddiiiiing!), and the list goes on. But you get the picture. And like most things in life, values may conflict with one another. Our challenge is to work it all out, so that everything will once again coincide together. The goal is to have inner Shalom (peace) with how we conduct ourselves every day.
I grew up Jewish, but not religious, so since choosing to become Orthodox in college, my values have taken different shape over the last several years. I try to focus on more intrinsic and spiritual values about bettering myself as a human being vs. focusing on the more extrinsic and materialistic values. Of course, there’s always a balance of everything, ’tis this little game we call Life. But I try and bring my “higher level” values that are important in my day-to-day life into everything I do.
So practically speaking…
So when I started A Glass of Goldwater, about 3 years ago, I had to make a lot of decisions. 1) What parts of my life do I show online? 2) How present are my children on social media? 3) What parts of my marriage do I share with my online community? 4) What will I be comfortable doing (events, food, clothing, etc) in a non-Jewish setting? And the list goes on.
Over time, my business has grown beyond anything I ever imagined it would be, but staying true to my values remains the same. That means that I don’t attend or promote events on Friday nights and Saturdays (it’s Shabbos — the Jewish Sabbath). I also don’t attend events at or promote non-Kosher restaurants. Sure, I’d love to eat at Girl and the Goat in Chicago (it’s a restaurant that’s supposed to be BOMB), but I won’t put myself in an uncomfortable situation that just isn’t worth it.
Events on Shabbos:
I cannot tell you how many events I get invited to that land on Shabbos. The number is high. At first, it was really hard for me to say “no” to these events because I felt like I was missing out on a business opportunity and that I wouldn’t be able to grow my business because I couldn’t attend a specific event. But over time I’ve come to realize that if an event falls out on Shabbos, it’s a test (that has thankfully become much easier) for me, from H-shem, to say no thank you, and move on. That specific event is not MEANT for me. My business will the EXACT way it’s supposed to be without this event. Sometimes it’s harder than others.
Like that time…
Let’s talk about the time I was invited to attend an Influencer Weekend in the Wisconsin Dells. We’d get free lodging, food (non-Kosher, obviously), and entertainment for our entire family in exchange for some social media coverage. At this point in our lives, our family doesn’t really go on vacation, so this was a super exciting offer for me to receive. But the main bulk of the trip was on Saturday. So I had to say no.
I remember writing that email back to the PR woman who invited me, and I had this nagging feeling in my stomach that was just so upset I couldn’t attend. I felt like I was REALLY missing out on a business opportunity, especially because I hope to go on sponsored trips in the future, so this would have been a great place to start. But I knew that there was only once choice here.
When I RSVP to events on Shabbos, I almost always explain why I can’t attend, and I express how much I’d love to try and set something up during the week or on a Sunday (if it’s a hotel stay), or that I hope to attend events with them in the future. I think this goes over really well the PR or marketing correspondent because they understand and respect a religious commitment, but they can still see that I’d love to work with them moving forward. It may be hard to say no in the moment, but I’ve never looked back and regretted my decisions to stay true to myself.
Kosher Events:
I often get invited to brand events that are either brunches or dinners. This means a brand will invite a group of bloggers or influencers to come see a new product, but they create an eating event out of it. I always ask if the caterer can provide kosher food, and sometimes the answer is yes!
Is it awkward to open an airplane meal in front of beautiful, skinny, fashion bloggers who may have never heard of Kosher before? Sometimes. And it’s also a little awkward when they can’t provide Kosher food, but I attend anyway, and only drink a Diet Coke. But most people are surprisingly open and interested to hear why I’m not eating. It usually is one awkward moment, and then we move on. I think it’s an opportunity for me to make a real Kiddish H-shem by participating and staying true to my values at the same time.
In this business, everyone will always have a different view of the whole. Disagreements will be had. And The overall message here, is to respect those differences, so that we can come closer to G-d and work together to bring our Redeemer, speedily in our days.
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