** This is an op-ed, experiential piece. It is not to be taken as medical advice. For medical advice, please consult your doctor.
I don’t know about you, but from the time my kids were babies, I’ve been very particular with what they eat and drink. No sugar until 2 years old worked for my oldest. Then my son, well, he got sugar a bit earlier, ’cause second children. LOL
I would have continued to not give my children sugar and junk until they were older, but the influences of outside sources make that VERY difficult for any mother. I know I’m not alone here. And some of you may say, “Give it up.” or “Let them live.” But, as their mother, I have the right to make these sorts of decisions for my children.
So when my 4 year-old son was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes (T1D), his eating life changed instantly. He literally cannot eat anything that isn’t approved by his father or me, because he HAS to have insulin to cover the carbs. Otherwise, HE COULD DIE. Of course, that’s the extreme, but this is the reality of our lives now.
So what now?
Our new reality is that when the candy man walks around at shul, I’ll have to be the bad guy and tell my son “no”. Or when we go to someone’s house for a meal, and the hostess tries to sneak my son an extra brownie, again, I’ll have to be the Tiger Mom that pounces before it hits his lips.
Sounds like a crappy position to be in, right? It is. On all ends. It sucks to be me. It also sucks to be that kid who can’t partake in what has become such a large part of our society — junk food.
So as the mother of “that kid”, here is my plea:
Please be sensitive when you decide to give out junk food.
ASK THE PARENT FIRST!
I find it so incredulous that even when a parent is standing right there, they are often bi-passed when it comes to giving out candy. Like, hello? This isn’t a decision for you to make for my child. And now let’s factor in that my son has T1D and needs insulin to go with this sugary lollipop. What if I’m not there to intervene? What then?
These are some of the fears that go through my mind every day now. With Purim coming up, this fear is even more relevant. Although this year is different because of COVID, I am sure the kids will get junk in school and candy will most likely be delivered to my house. Instead of letting my kids answer the door that day like I normally would, I now have to be the gate keeper of what comes in my home.
What can you do?
I think this rings true even for parents who don’t have T1D children, but especially in my case.
If you know that there is a T1D in a home, maybe leave out the extra ring pop.
What they don’t know won’t hurt them, and the fight that will most definitely ensue between mother and child can definitely be spared.
You can also ask the parents if there is a good alternative or less-junky treat to include.
As a mother of a T1D, this would be appreciated at birthday parties, Shabbos parties in school and shul. I understand that the world doesn’t revolve around my son, but it’s such an easy thing to do to accommodate a child who may already feel different. I’m so appreciative to some of Azi’s friends who’ve already been sensitive to this!
Always ask the parent before showing the child.
If all else fails and you must offer junk, ask the parent before even showing the child. Please. We have enough battles over this crap (pun intended), and if you can lessen the fight by one jolly rancher, we’d be so appreciative.
If there is going to be junk at school or a party, you can warn the parent.
This way we can be prepared with the proper amount of insulin or a plan to ration with our child so they don’t feel different or left out.
And for goodness sake, when a parent says “no” respect their wishes. (I’m talking to you Grandma, Auntie, etc.)
Don’t push. Don’t say, “Come on mooom, don’t be a party pooper.” Yes, I’ve had adults say that to me before when it didn’t really matter. But now it does. So please, act like an adult and remember who the parent is.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is that as mothers of T1Ds we deal a lot with “food fights”. And outside influences don’t help. We never want our kids to feel different or left out, and it’s especially hard when it comes to food because of its role in society.
Unfortunately, I don’t think we’re going to start a world movement to ban junk food (although I am sure I’m not the only mom who’d love this), but I think we can start a movement to be more mindful. Because you never know what underlying medical conditions a child may have. Don’t just assume that a lollipop is fine. I know this is something that’s a larger problem in schools and shuls (synagogues), etc but we can start within ourselves too.
What’s your take on this situation? How do you feel about junk food? I’d love to know. Drop a comment below! xo
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