That Momtrepreneur Life: “Doing it all”

This is the first article in my column  for Nashim Magazine, a Jewish women’s magazine. The issue came out in September. Stay tuned for the rest of my column, to be released throughout the year. And subscribe to Nashim Magazine to read it there first!

Do it all.

It’s the highest of compliments and achievements to be able to “do it all”. But are we really doing anything if we’re doing everything? As a Momtrepreneur (Mom + Entrepreneur, in case there was any confusion), I struggle with this concept constantly. I’ve come to learn that I simply can’t be everywhere at once. And if I try to be everywhere at once, I’ll be spread myself so thin that nothing/nobody will get the best part of me. 

So what do I do? It certainly seems like a dilemma. But when you get in the right mindset, you can begin to manage your days in a way that will allow you to be present in all aspects of your life, just not all at the same time or in the same way.

For those who don’t know me, I’m Alyssa Goldwater. Some people may recognize me as @aglassofgoldwater over on Instagram. I’m a wife and mommy to two toddlers, and I’ve been blessed to grow my online community to over 20,000 women in the past few years. I’ve recently taken the leap and left my full-time job to be my own boss and CEO, while amping up my social media agency as well. Over the next year, I look forward to taking you all on my journey in Momtrepreneur-hood. My very raw take, as a woman in this chapter of my life, will offer practical advice and biz tips, as well as the struggles and overarching successes that come with the job title of Mom, Wife, Entrepreneur and Woman Extraordinaire. 

So without further adieu, let’s jump right in. There’s obviously NO TIME to waste.

Debunking a myth:

The beginning of the school year, changing seasons and upcoming Yamim Noraim (High Holy Days) are extremely taxing for anyone. But the added weight that often gets thrown on women, wives and mothers can be stressful and debilitating if we aren’t dividing it properly throughout our lives. Notice that I didn’t say “balancing”. I once listened to a podcast which totally resonated with me. Listen up, and don’t forget this: There is no such thing as balance in a life where you live in the present. 

Gasp! Did she really just tell us that we can’t balance it all? That there is no such thing as “work-life balance”? Yes. I really did.

If you equally balance yourself among all of your responsibilities, not a single one of those responsibilities is getting your full attention. It’s about compartmentalizing your day—not balancing—so you can be most effective at whatever you do.

The art of compartmentalization:

It really is an art. And I won’t pretend it’s easy. It takes a lot of practice, trial and error and self-forgiveness when you fail. As you start to compartmentalize and fully focus on the different parts of your day, you might even feel like you’re on top of your game, instead of drowning to keep afloat.

Practically speaking, there are some very easy-to-implement ways to start being more effective (read: present and successful) in each aspect of your day. These apply to everyone—whether you work inside or outside your home. 

1. Make a list of priorities:

I personally like to do this the night before. I make a list of my Top 5 Priorities that MUST get accomplished the next day. Usually these are concrete tasks for my job, but they could also be things like grocery shopping or taking the kids to the pool. When I write out my to-do list, I take the pressure off of my brain, which is holding it all in there. This automatically makes these tasks easier to handle.

2. Schedule your priorities:

Now that you’ve written out your priorities, you should schedule them, spreading them throughout your day. When you set an actual time to complete a task, you are now held accountable to follow through. I also block out a chunk of time first thing in the morning to tick off my “low-hanging fruit” tasks. These are things that need to get done which are relatively easy for me to complete. I am much more productive and energized throughout the day when I knock off a few easy items from my list first thing in the morning. Stick to this list! And let me tell you why.

When you complete this process every day, you have set times for all of your priorities. This means that you can actually focus on each aspect of your day, because you know there is set time to devote to the other stuff as well. I implement this in my own life by blocking my work to-dos between the hours of 9 am – 12:30 pm. These are the hours that my kids are out of the house, and I know it will be quiet enough for me to concentrate. 

Implementing the process:

One of the biggest challenges I face, as a mom who works from home, is that it can be difficult to turn work off when I need to spend time with my family. It’s the pull to check my phone or just respond to that one email. While I’m certainly not perfect, this Process to Productivity has helped me begin to see that there is a place for everything. And to help me realize that I am a much happier person—and that my children are much happier—when I put my focus in the right place at the right time. I’m a better mom and CEO because of this process, and I don’t even have to do it all. And you don’t either.

Give the process a try, and share your successes with me via DM at @aglassofgoldwater. I’ll share some of your responses there! Are you ready now? Let’s Move and Shake!