My family has had a wild year. In early 2021, my (now) 5 year old son was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. The diagnosis has my son, husband and me on a roller coaster that never seems to stop. I sometimes forget that my 6 year old daughter’s life has also drastically changed because of my son’s diagnosis. The changes and effects are just a bit less obvious. About a year after diagnosis, I had a realization that my relationship with my daughter was struggling. The element of fun had been lacking for a while, and I wanted that to change. So the idea for a solo trip with her was sparked.
Timing is everything.
There’s never a perfect time to go away. But there are a few things you can do to make the time you choose less stressful. Making sure that you have the other kids logistically taken care of at home is a big one. Arranging carpools, activities, extra play dates, etc will make sure that you know you can breathe; that they are covered in your absence. I also think it’s important to contact teachers beforehand to make sure that your child isn’t missing something pivotal in school (especially older kids).
Choose a time to go when you don’t have any pressing work matters, meetings or appointments. Work is the last thing you want to be stressing about while you’re bonding with your child. You also don’t have to go away for a week. We went away for 2 nights and 3 days (half of each end day being for travel). You make the most of the time you have, and I promise they won’t remember that you were “only there” for 48 hours.
Aside from logistics, there are likely to be those elements of jealousy and sadness with the kids that are staying at home. For us, talking about future trips I would take with my son helped him be a lot more receptive to the idea that he wouldn’t be coming on this trip. My daughter and I also bought him a special present while we were away. We ended up getting it at T.J. Max, but he doesn’t have to know that/doesn’t care. He knew we were thinking about him while we were gone, and every kid loves gifts.
Do something your child will appreciate.
I took my daughter to Miami for our trip. We had recently been to Orlando as a family (more on that trip here), and she loved it. She had also never seen the ocean, but it’s one of my favorite places. So while I obviously wasn’t sad about going to Miami, I knew we could really make some amazing memories together here as well.
I didn’t make any crazy plans for while we were there. I knew that we would both be very happy alternating between the pool and beach. We keep kosher, so planning meals involved a bit more than just ordering from the hotel restaurant (which wasn’t kosher). Most restaurants deliver, so we didn’t even need to leave our hotel to have breakfast and lunch. We had pancakes in bed one morning as a special treat, and then we enjoyed a simple pizza lunch poolside.
The one thing I did in advance was make dinner reservations. Depending on where you go, restaurants may require reservations. This is the case in Miami, so that’s what I did. I made early, grandma-time reservations because I knew Miri would be tired from being out in the sun all day. Heck, I was also exhausted, and early dinners were perfect for us. I also chose restaurants that I knew she would like.
Miami is a very foodie city, but this was not the trip to experiment at the trendiest restaurant in town. I wanted to make sure that the entire trip was fun and delicious, so yummy, kid-friendly food was key. My diabetic son is also a celiac, so we are basically a gluten free household. So this trip was also a break from that for my daughter; giving her the opportunity to have some of her gluten-filled favorites that we don’t have at home. Just keep your child’s likes and dislikes in mind. This trip is largely about them. And you want them to be happy.
Resist the urge to be on your phone.
This is probably the hardest thing for me. My work is entirely done on my phone, and it’s in my nature to take pictures. So I had to be super mindful to actively put my phone away, not take pictures and savor the moments together was tough. Of course, I took pictures because we wanted to remember this trip. But I also made sure to put the phone away for extended periods of time together. I could tell that she really appreciated and noticed that.
It’s also not in my nature to actively “play” with my kids. I usually sit back and watch. But I actually sat in the sand with Miri (and I HATE sand), and it’s one of the things she still talks about from our trip. Going a little out of your comfort zone to make those memories, and go the extra mile, is worthwhile on this trip.
Make sure you’ll never forget it.
This is something you want your child to remember forever. And you definitely want them to talk about it until it’s time for the next one. So I recommend two things: 1) Bring a tripod with you so you can take nice pictures together. I popped mine in our suitcase, and it came in handy a few different times. And 2) Make a photo book after. I’ve started making Shutterfly photo books after all of our family trips, and they are some of our most-used books. I highly recommend upgrading the pages to the durable material, especially with little kids. They are SO worth it, and Shutterfly always has some sort of sale going on.
It’s been almost 2 months since our trip, and we both still talk about it. It was an incredible 48 hours of rejuvenation and strengthening our relationship as mother and daughter. I’m so grateful we were able to do something as big as a trip to Miami, but I plan to do a staycation at a hotel downtown with my son for his solo “trip”. I’m telling you, it doesn’t have to always be big. It’s taking the time that matters most, and I hope to be able to continue this solo trip tradition for many years to come.
Leave a Reply