I’ve been getting A LOT of questions recently about having 2 babies under 2. How did I manage? How do I sleep? Why did I do that to myself? The list goes on. I’m reflecting and sharing some of my insights and practical tips that helped me survive having 2 under 2, well, really 2 under 1, but who’s counting?!
Second pregnancies
Let’s start from the beginning — we found out I was pregnant with Azi when Miri was 4 months old. I’m going to take a whole post to discuss the emotions behind transitioning from 1 baby to 2, but for now let’s stick with this.
Being pregnant is definitely not easy for me, and it was super hard trying to take care of a nurture a 4 month old while I wasn’t feeling well most of the time. I did what I had to do to make it through each day.
Some days were better than others, but I strongly believe that the memories you make are worth the challenges and stumbling blocks you may have to go through to get there.
I made wonderful memories with Miri her first summer. Some of you may remember that I coined it the #summerofmoo. When you have 2 under 2, the time you have with your first child as an only child is short, and you must make those months count. I really tried to do that.
I present to you, #2
Exactly 2 weeks after Miri’s first birthday, Mr. Personality, aka Azi, came flying (literally — also another story) into our lives. From that moment on, it became about both of my babies. There were two babies that needed me now. I remember the first time Miri met Azi in the hospital. I obviously had pre-ordered big sister and matching little brother outfits for the “photoshoot”.
So here we are in the middle of winter with two babies who don’t walk (sounds a lot like twins!). I honestly don’t remember how we got through those first few months. They are seriously such a blur. Between a bit of postpartum depression and Azi being a complete dose of reality compared to Miri, I think it’s probably best that I can barely remember it.
let it go
I do remember crying at all hours of the night because he wouldn’t go to sleep, and I also remember that this was the first time I began to let things go. Not in a bad way. But to say the least I was kind of a high-strung first time mom. Obsessed with germs, sleep schedule sergeant (still am; some things don’t change!), and running to wipe even the slightest booger that might even be thinking about coming out of Miri’s nose. When I had Azi to take care of, I had to take many deep breaths, tell myself that she wouldn’t die if someone touched her without washing their hands and move on with our lives. It was the only way.
As a parent you have to figure out the things that you are unwilling to waver on, and the rest of it? Well, as long as everyone’s fed, semi-bathed, healthy and sleeping — you’ve got it made.
Practical aspects of 2 under 2:
Outtings
So how was I going to get anywhere, let alone get anything done? We were living in an apartment at the time, so I basically had to do take everyone down in shifts to get out of the building. First, I brought the baby (well, they were both babies but I mean the littlest baby) and I left him on the front landing inside — we were on the first floor so it was only half a flight down for us, but I was so desperate I probably would’ve done this if we lived two flights up also. I figured it was safest to bring baby first because he can’t go anywhere.
Then I ran back up and grabbed Miri. Using the car seat as a door holder, I carried Miri and the car seat in the crook of my elbow to get outside. Again, putting Miri in first, because she was more mobile, then clicking baby’s carseat after. Same thing goes for getting in and out of the car at errands, and we still function this way today. Although it’s much easier now that they can both walk and follow simple directions, but there are other worries, like running into streets and parking lots (I don’t think there will ever be a time as parents where we aren’t worrying about something).
Pro-tip #1: When I take Miri (2.5 yrs) out of the car, we play a game so I know she stays safe. I bring her around to Azi’s side of the car with me, and then I tell her to stick her finger to the car like glue. That way, I know she is concentrating on that and not running into the parking lot or street.
target, target, target
So as you can imagine, it was a serious P.I.T.A. to go anywhere, so if we were going to go somewhere, it had to be worth it. I did my best to get everything on my list at one or two (max) places — this is where my love for Target really came to fruition.
Pro-tip #2: Leave your house!
For sanity’s sake, I think it’s important to get out at least once a day. Whether it’s by yourself, if you are able to get some babysitting help, or with your little crew. I am fortunate to have childcare help, so I was able to get out on my own multiple times which definitely saved my (already-lacking) sanity. Speaking of sanity, it is beyond important to make time for a little bit of self-care. I don’t care if it’s 3 minutes, laying in your bed undisturbed or going to get a massage or a manicure.
A mommy running on empty doesn’t help anyone. Fill your tank so you can fill the tanks of your family.
Bedtime
I started doing bedtime together from the very beginning, and now, a year and a half later, it’s just the norm in our house. This might not work for everyone, but it works for us. We all go upstairs at the same time, get in jammies, and go into Miri’s room for books. When Azi was little, I kept a bouncy seat in Miri’s room, and I would just plop him in there so I could spend some cuddle time with Miri. When he got old enough to hold his own bottle, I would let him have that to keep him occupied. After books, we all do nighttime prayers together, and then Miri goes straight in her crib and Azi and I say goodnight. Miri knows that Azi is also going to sleep right after her.
Then I go into Azi’s room, sing one more song and he goes right to sleep. I’m a huge stickler when it comes to sleep schedules, which is why this sounds very planned out. If you have help at home to split bedtime, that’s awesome — Adam works late a lot of nights, so I’ve had to figure it out on my own. Or, if your older one is able to read in her room alone while you put the baby to sleep, that’s great too. Miri, at 2.5, is getting to the age where she’ll read alone while I put baby brother to sleep. That way, she gets individual Mommy/Miri time without her little bro.
mom-spiration
I won’t lie, it’s definitely easier to talk about it then actually do it some days. Not just bedtime, but all of it. I definitely have many days when I feel like I am completely drowning, but somehow we’ve made it a year and a half as a family of 4. Everyone’s happy, pretty much healthy (aside from the occasional ear infection) and equally loved. There were a few mamas and friends that I really clung onto during that first year for support.
Pro-tip #3: Learn when to let go and take help when it is offered.
I’m by no means perfect, but I’m trying to be the best I can. Somedays that includes multiple failures, and others I feel like I’m winning at this whole mommy thing. I’m not afraid to make mistakes in front of my kids, and I’m not embarrassed to admit my faults. There is a huge learning curve (18+ years) when it comes to parenting, and if we take it day by day and moment by moment, I think that’s how we’ll make it through.
a few favorites from the first few months
Life is definitely crazy when the Goldwater fam bam comes to town, but even through all the complaining and hard days, I wouldn’t change a single minute of it. They’re my crazy. And I’m one proud mama.
Have any other questions that I didn’t answer? Please comment below or message me! I’d love to discuss with you!
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