Not exactly what you thought

I know I’ve promised some tips about managing that extra time with family over the holidays. But I was thinking about something that I felt was important to put out there.

I always strive for honesty and truth in this community. I created this space to be a voice of realness and support to other moms and women. So I don’t think it’s fair to put up a front and pretend that everything is peachy keen, when it isn’t. 

I also wondered whether I should write this so openly or not. I worried that it could affect my children’s acceptance into schools and the like. Then I realized that if a place or person takes issue with our family because the matriarch is open about HOW FREAKING HARD life can be sometimes, well, I don’t want my kids associated anyway.

hey. my name’s alyssa. i’m a wife, mother and seriously hard-worker.

I bust my behind to try and do it all, and the past few months of craziness (mostly good craziness!) has really taken its toll on me. I’m tired, a little burnt out, happy and sad all at the same time. And all that emotion can throw a person for a loop.

Being a mom is FREAKING HARD (have I mentioned that?). And saying it doesn’t make me any less of a mother. In fact, I think it makes me a BETTER mother because I realize how insanely hard it is and how INSANELY important it is. (Sorry for all the caps, but I need you to hear me YELLING those words. Because I really mean them.) While we’re at it — it’s really hard to be a wife sometimes too! Now, as a young wife and mom to two toddlers (forget about 2 other full time jobs thrown into the mix), you can imagine that I’m pulled in a million different directions, and we can’t all be as easily stretchable as Octo-mom. 

so what’s going on?

I know I preach self-care, and I really do try to practice what I preach. I get my regular manicures, I get more massages than the average person, and I put on makeup everyday. Did I mention I workout and I also start each day on top of a mountain doing yoga at sunrise while balancing on one foot (scratch that last one, but the rest is true). 

But sometimes no matter how much you try to take care of yourself, your body and mind might be seeking a bit more. So after about a 10 year hiatus, I have started going to therapy again, and I am so grateful that I did. There is no shame in it, and if someone tells you there is, you don’t want to be friends with them. 

And for those of you out there rolling your eyes at me saying, “You’ll get through this” and “We’ve all been there” and “It gets better when they get older” — JUST STOP. Okay, maybe you’re just better at Life than I am, but that IS NOT what I need or want to hear. And I’m going to go tell to my therapist about you (ohh scary!), so seriously, please just stop. 

But for those of you who are in my corner, which I feel is a good 93.5% of you, THANK YOU. Thank you for offering to cook up those lentils and sweet potatoes so my family can have dinner. Thanks for inviting me over and going out to buy kosher food and plastic utensils so you can feed me. Thank you for dropping off that piece of strawberry shortcake JUST BECAUSE. And thank you for your sweet and supportive messages (sans unsolicited advice). 

don’t worry. this is coming to an end.

The whoooole point of this novel, is really to let my Tribe know that Mama G is going through a little something right now. I’m taking all the right steps to heal. And I see light at the end of this tunnel, as I figure out how adapt and manage my time and stress.

I think it’s pretty clear that we alllll have good days and bad days. Some days I have all the energy to take my kids to Northbrook Court, AND the Museum of Science and Industry AND out to dinner with grandparents. But other days, I need to send my husband and daughter to a Hanukkah party alone so I can stay home with the not-so-little baby and recoup. And that’s okay too. 

What are my goals?

My goal for sharing? I truly hope that society can begin to accept that 98.7% of us are not June Cleaver and, in fact, 85% of the rest of us are more like Katie Otto from American Housewife. And she IS BOSS. As this mind shift happens, I think we will all be more supportive of one another. We’ll start to bring each other up instead of bringing each other down. We’ll certainly be more mindful of the way we speak to others, because you never know what someone is dealing with inside.

With that, I’ll finally go to sleep, which is also INTEGRAL to mental health and overall sanity. But I look forward to sharing the good and not-so-good with you all. Follow on Instagram for more of my day-to-day journey. Which I think, for the most part, I already do. And I hope that we can carry these weights together, so that everyone’s load is just a little bit lighter.

If nothing else, please educate yourself on the signs of anxiety and depression. Have a good, long talk with yourself. Ask yourself, “Am I feeling my best? Am I the best version of myself I can be?” And if your answer is no, talk to friends (me!), husbands, family and therapists to figure out what’s going on. Seek help, and don’t ever think you have to be alone in this. 

Please, pin and share this so we can all help each other!