It’s an elite club of tiny humans who like to drive their parents crazy by only eating minimal amounts of the craziest things and nothing else. And I mean nothing else. You guessed it. It’s the Picky Eaters Club! And my son has quickly risen to be a member of their Board of Directors.
If you’ve read my post about our journey with Feeding Therapy, you’ll know that Azi has struggled with eating solid foods since he was 5 months old, and it has taken a lot of coaxing, bribing and therapy to get him to eat even the junkiest of foods. Feeding Therapy aside, I’m going to share some of my crazy, mom tips to dealing with picky eaters with you. G-d speed mamas! This club is one of the toughest gangs to crack. Here we go.
First and foremost, relax.
I’m sure you were told this as a first time parent, but the tiny humans can always sense when we’re uptight, stressed out and emotional. They react to us in a number of ways. I’ve found the most common side effects of parental stress, as it relates to food, are either crying and becoming hysterical or the complete opposite and throwing globs of food everywhere while laughing hysterically. Either way, the food doesn’t get eaten. And the Picky Eaters Club strikes again.
I know it’s hard. And more than that, infuriating, but kids are not going to not eat to a point of starvation. Even if it isn’t a large amount, they will eat when they get hungry. Obviously, our goal is to get them eating regularly on a variety (however big or small that variety is) of foods. But when it comes down to it, say it with me: “THEY. WILL. NOT. STARVE.” #pediatricianapproved
Slight variations and textures
Food texture can be a huge issue for some picky eaters. Whether it’s a sensory thing or not, some kids don’t like slimy foods like bananas or wet foods like sliced deli turkey. And as parents, we have to respect that. Think about it, some of you probably cannot stand the fuzziness of peach skins, so no one is forcing you to eat a peach. I personally CANNOT STAND hot fruit — fruit pies, fruit cobblers, etc. And no one forces me to eat hot fruit. Our children might be little, but they are also humans with preferences, and at times we do need to give way and respect that.
With that said, there are definitely things we should do to encourage our children to go beyond their comfort zone when it comes to eating food. An easy way to do this is by trying foods that are slightly different but overall very similar to foods that we know our children like. Let’s use a family favorite for an example. One of the only foods Azi eats are Veggie Straws. Yes, the chip-like imposters that pretend to be veggies, and I go right along with their ploy. Anyway, they make veggie straws in chip form as well. So we try and alternate between giving Azi the straws and the chips. Although they almost taste EXACTLY the same, it is a slight variation, and it helps our picky eaters get used to trying “new” things.
ETA (September 2019):
We now also try to get Azi to touch and kiss different textured foods that he may not generally gravitate toward, like a piece of brisket with sauce on it. It’s just too slimy for him, but just this past Friday night we got him to give it a kiss, and he definitely swallowed some of the juice. That was a HUGE accomplishment for him. It’s all in the little things.
Colors and flavors
Food colors and flavors go hand in hand with the variations I mentioned above. If you take the time to list out the foods that your picky child eats, you will likely see a pattern in both color and flavor. Instead of offering foods that are a shot in the dark, go with what you know.
Let’s use the color beige for an example. Lots of kids, mine included, eat mostly beige-colored foods — e.g. chicken nuggets, fish sticks, graham crackers, veggie straws, etc. So if your child loves chicken nuggets, try a breaded fish stick and see if they’ll try that because it looks similar and feels comfortable and not foreign. It’s not going to work every time, but if you can take your child to take even one bite of a new food, you’re moving in the right direction.
Offer the new but similar food multiple times. Sometimes it takes an insane amount (30) of times offered before a child will accept the food, so don’t give up. And the same goes for flavors. Azi loves veggie straws, so it was no surprise that he loves hot dogs and salami as well. See what I’m doing here? It’s not rocket science. It just takes a bit of wit to beat your child at their own game.
Always include your child in mealtime
Even if your child can’t wait until everyone in the family is ready to sit down for dinner, still encourage them to come sit with the family when you do all sit down to eat. Azi always eats dinner between 4:30-5:30, but we often don’t sit down as a family until 6:30 for our dinner. We always bring Azi’s highchair right up to the table with us while we eat, and we always offer the food we’re eating. Sometimes he plays with it. Sometimes he throws it on the ground. And every once in a while, we catch him trying a little bite.
Make mealtime fun
If kids feel like mealtime is a time of the day when everyone gets upset and mommy forces me to eat disgusting things, then, of course, mealtime is going to be pleasant. Do what you can to make mealtime fun. Whether that is making happy faces with crackers and cheese sticks or drawing mustard hair on turkey, a little bit goes a long way in the eyes of a child. It may be annoying now, but know that you won’t be cutting their sandwiches into the shapes of stars forever. Childhood is an extraordinary time, and if we give into a little bit of that fantasy and magical time, then we too can be transformed as adults. 
Count the bites with your kids. Eat only the red food on your plate. How many blueberries can you balance on your fork at one time? These are all very simple ways that you can engage with your child and make mealtime enjoyable for everyone, while hopefully getting a little sustenance in your picky eater at the same time.
I asked some other mommies if they had any tips or tricks for picky eaters and here are some honorable mentions:
The “no-thank you bite” from Love and Scribbles. When there is something served that the kids don’t want, they still have to take one bite as the “no-thank you” bite. Eventually, they learn that the food isn’t so bad, and might even be scarfing down brussel sprouts if you’re lucky!
A similar and very cute idea, The “Green Eggs and Ham bite” from Mommy I Love You So Big Read “Green Eggs and Ham” very early on in a child’s life. When they question eating a food, ask them to take a single “Green Eggs and Ham” bite. You’ll be surprised what foods it will introduce them to! And if they still refuse the food after the bite, honor the request.
Loved this method from abrazoandcoze.com: “I ensure there is at least one “safe” food for each person at each meal and snack. My children’s job is to decide if and how much to eat. That means we have a schedule for snacks and meals. If food is requested between times, my kids are told we’ll be eating at (whatever time). When we’re eating a meal or snack and someone requests something that isn’t being offered, the answer is “We have (a list of all the foods on the table) for this meal/snack.” They might decide not to eat. But usually they opt for something being offered. Since starting that plan, my kiddo has gone from existing on cheese crackers and yogurt to a much wider range of foods from all the food groups.”
ETA:
We had a problem with Azi throwing unwanted foods on the floor for a long time. We worked really hard, and now have a strong rule in our house that whatever food is on his tray has to STAY on his tray. That doesn’t mean he has to eat the broccoli, but he’s now come to a place where he will at least tolerate on his tray. The hope is that one day he’ll touch it, then the next he’ll give it a kiss, and so on and so forth. A mom can dream, right?
What are some other ideas you have to tackling the pickiest of eaters? I’d love to hear them!
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I used to think (because of my eldest who is NOT a picky eater) that willingness to eat and try new things was due to my good parenting. Hahaha! Joke was on me. My middle kiddo (who has been hospitalized because she would rather starve than eat/drink “unacceptable” food) taught me a good lesson, that all kids are different, and food and eating issues can be tricky. Good luck to all the parents of kids in the Picky Eaters Club!
Yes, girl!! Thank you for sharing!
A picky eater is hard to handle sometimes. You can feel so defeated. So glad to see you are working through this! 🙂
Totally!! Thank you so much!
These are all great and helpful tips. We shoukd keep introducing new textures to kids so they get used to them in time
Yes! That’s what we try to do in Feeding Therapy!