Business Travel Life

In 2019, I took six business trips. That’s six times more trips than I took in 2018. So you can definitely assume that it took some adjusting, both on my part and on the part of everyone on the homestead. In fact, I’m actually writing this column from United Flight 3762 service to LaGuardia airport, which is a miracle in and of itself, as I used to get EXTREME motion sickness on airplanes.

When I started my businesses, it was never my plan to travel to New York so many times in one year. But a large percentage of my audience lives in the Tristate area, and many opportunities have arisen to make the trips worthwhile, so with the support of my husband and family back home, we have decided it’s worth it for me to make the trips.

Moms vs. Dads

It’s interesting that if a father has to travel for work, we don’t even blink. But it’s astounding to many people that my house doesn’t go up in flames, or implode from the inside, when I have to travel FOR WORK. “But how can you be away?” “Isn’t it so hard for you?” “HOW IN THE WORLD can your husband manage (HIS OWN CHILDREN) on his own?!” These are all questions I’m regularly asked, and I’m very comfortable answering them now, but I wonder if society will ever get to a place where they won’t be asked at all. 

But this isn’t an article about feminism and equality in the workplace. I want to talk about how I make it work, and why I make it work. First of all, and you likely know by now, my family is the number one most important thing to me in the entire world. They come before any business deal, partnership or professional development opportunity. So, the first thing I always do before I book a trip is sit down with my husband (Adam) and discuss the scope of it. We ask each other a multitude of questions which will help make the decision. And there have been conversations where, in the end, we have decided I should stay home—it just isn’t worth it. 

What are our deciding factors?

1. Can we logistically make everything as normal as possible for the kids and Adam at home? (i.e., childcare, extra-curricular activities, etc.)
2. How much will the trip cost? And do the benefits and gain of the trip (both monetarily and professionally) exceed those costs?
3. Will this help my business? Will I grow as a person AND as a professional? 
4. I always, always ask Adam, “Are you okay with this? Because if you really think it’s too much, I WILL STAY HOME.” He comes FIRST. This isn’t a marriage class either, but that much I do know. No business transaction is more important than my relationship with my spouse. 

So, once the decision is made, practical steps are put into play:

• I arrange childcare (often extended, because Adam has a full-time job as well) for my children. I ensure that if our regular babysitter can’t be available, it is someone who they are comfortable with, since it’s already a change that Mommy is out of town.
• The first time I traveled, I made LOTS of lists. Schedules for the kids, lists of foods that everyone likes, emergency numbers (which we still have). All of these are great, and are likely helpful to many caretakers, but over time, I’ve realized I can pretend to run the show when I’m out of town, but it’s inevitable that things will be different in my absence. Everyone is always smiling and in once piece when I come home, and that’s all that matters. Let it go, and let it be. This is a key factor in determining whether or not you will enjoy your business trip. 

Once things are set on the homestead, I can focus on my trip—planning where I’ll be, where I’ll stay, how I’ll get there and what I’ll eat. It can be very hard to make good eating decisions when you’re away, so I do my best to plan things in advance. I like to know the meals that I will “splurge” on ahead of time. And I bring my own meal supplement bars when I will be unlikely to have a proper meal (like at the airport or during a commute).

Unless I am going away for more than a week (like once, when I went to Israel), I don’t check a bag. I’ve invested in an amazing carry-on suitcase and carry-on briefcase of sorts, which I’ve learned to pack—down to a scientific formula. 

The day of travel can be hectic. It’s hard to say goodbye…most of the time it’s harder for me than my kids. There are many factors which are completely out of my control (read: airports). My worst day of travel was on the way home from a consulting job. My flight was canceled—not once, but twice. After being rerouted to a different city, and 4 days of travel, I finally made it home at 1:30 am, having missed ANOTHER bedtime. Ohhh, did my three year old cry. Reflecting back, that was just a hard day all around. I definitely lost it and cried in the airport (multiple times). I was a literal hot and sweaty mess. I was feeling that mom guilt because I wasn’t going to make it home before bedtime, and I was just flat out frustrated that none of the airlines seemed to care! 

Since that experience, my flights have been relatively uneventful, but you always have to be prepared that something could happen, get messed up or not go exactly your way. But again, these are all factors you take into account when you decide whether or not to make the trip in the first place. 

Talking to the kids:

When I’m away, I talk to my kids twice a day. We try to talk before they head off to school in the morning and at least once before bedtime. Thank goodness for FaceTime. We keep the conversations short. Otherwise, it can tend to get a little emotional all around. It’s hard not to see my husband, so we are in constant contact throughout each day via text and the occasional call. But there’s a definite learning curve, because Mommy and Wifey can’t always be available for a quick call or FaceTime when she’s out of town. Now we’ve got it down, but it has definitely been a harder aspect of going away which we’ve had to work on as a family.

I’m so fortunate that my businesses have grown exponentially this past year, and that my travel has been more than worth it, and I think my husband will agree. I truly enjoy traveling alone—the freedom, the drive to perform and being able to sleep through the night. But there is no place like home. So while it’s nice to go away, it’s not a vacation—it’s work!—and there is nothing that fills my heart more than to see my little people’s faces when I walk back through that door.

The Ultimate Travel Agent:

As this plane ride starts to get turbulent (my fave!), I’ll leave you with this. Always remember—daven, daven, daven (pray). Storm the Heavens that you will have a smooth flight, that everyone will be okay while you’re gone and that Hashem (G-d) will bring you home safely. He is the true Travel Agent of the friendly skies. So don’t forget—you’re never alone.