It’s so crazy just how much we don’t let our kids do. And I never would have realized it, until we had a global pandemic, and I was forced to keep my kids home from school for at least a month. I sort of put on this “new hat”. Having the kids home 24/7, has turned me into this homeschooling / homesteading wannabe mom.
You might be wondering what that means? Well, two awesome examples of homesteading families are @ballerinafarm and @fivemarysfarms on Instagram. There kids are so little, but it is absolutely amazing what they’re doing. From hauling water to pig troughs, feeding cows and cooking their own meals, these kids are seriously self-sufficient, independent and a REAL help to their parents. It amazes me every time I watch their stories.
So I decided to try something at our house.
While we’re not quite the all-star *home on the range* family (yet!), we’ve started giving Miri (age 4) more responsibilities to do. Things like helping to load the dishwasher, chop onions (adult supervised, duh! This is still 2020, lol), cut her own hamburger, and more. She learned to pump her legs on the swings and “doesn’t even need a push anymore”. And guess what? She’s beyond proud of her newfound independence.
The craziest part of it all, is that I never would have known she was capable of doing these things, because my first instinct is to do it myself. Kids these days are raised to have things done for them, not to do things for themselves. But with a lot more time on our hands and no where to be, we started giving Miri more options to do things. And guess what? She’s good at them!
**Important to note that Azi (age 3) also gets these opportunities, but he really isn’t embracing his independence yet. It’s definitely a boy/maturity thing that is totally age-appropriate. So we’re working on the kid who wants this independence, and that’s more than we’ve ever done before.
It’s really mind-blowing to me that it takes a global crisis for us to really see what our kids are capable of. There are a lot of things that aren’t ideal (downright horrible) about the COVID-19 epidemic, but if I choose to see the silver lining, I am so glad that my child’s capabilities are one of them. And I’m grateful that I’ve learned this pretty early on in my parenting journey, because I truly think our lives will be different from here on out, in a good way.
My list of independent activities/chores for toddlers (ages 3-5):
- Load / unload the dishwasher (with assistance)
- Set the table
- Pump their own legs on the swing!
- Water the plants
- Load / unload the washing machine
- Fold laundry
- Put toys away in the right place
- Get own fruit/snack/whatever out of the fridge
- Assist with baking/cooking
- Chopping, pouring, mixing, forming
- Throw out garbage
- Dust
- Swiffer floors
- Spray surfaces (I use Method cleaner, not a bleach-based cleaner)
- Put shoes away
- Hang up coats
- Clean up bedrooms
- Make bed
- Bring packages in
- Hold the door
And the list could go on! Isn’t it incredible? I sure think it is. 3 weeks ago, I never would have taken the time to let my daughter do most of these life skills. It’s just easier to do it alone. I am so grateful for this time, where I can allow my child to access her full potential and help her blossom into the caring and helpful girl I know she wants to be.
Here’s the trick:
If you’re a Type-A person, like I am, you have to do a lot of introspection and breathing exercises to get through a lot of these chores. It is REALLY hard for me to bake with Miri. I HATE getting flour on the counter as I pour it into the mixing bowl. Would it be easier to do it myself? Absolutely. Would it be cleaner? Of course. But she wouldn’t get that soaring pride that she gets when she helps bake the special Shabbos cookies. I’ve really worked on myself to become a mom that doesn’t freak out when something spills (unless it’s stainable on my couch!). It’s a life’s work to achieve perfection in that realm. But now that I have a minute where I can’t do anything else, I’m certainly taking a minute to help foster imperative independence that could have otherwise taken years to achieve.
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